316 comments

Naran

Naran is a somewhat mature young lady from Kennebunk(port?).  She thinks her property taxes are waaay too high.  Sure, Kennebunk(port?) is a nice place to live, very appealing, with good schools, and has high property values, but you’ve got to have something to complain about.

To her great credit, she was in favor of allowing gay marriage and is smart regarding issues relating to homosexuality. She is also a good moderator, from what I can tell. *

Probably the meanest thing I can say about her is that she has a tendency to use cutesy little catch phrases in her posts.  Things like referring to herself as “Miss Prunelope Pimstep, Auntie Mabel, Betsy Ross.”  There may be a completely hilarious context or backstory that I’m not familiar with, but my best current theory is that she uses this old-timey cutesy talk because the older men using the website find it erotic.

She must endeavor to be sexually appealing because the high taxes of Kennebunk(port?) have forced her towards a destructive life of prostitution.  It is through this lifestyle which she gained her tolerance of homosexuals.  In 1997 her “Madam,” a woman named Ms. Berrykins, invited her over for a few glasses of fine cabernet.  A summer storm knocked a tree down, blocking the the driveway to Ms. Berrykin’s home and preventing Naran from leaving.  Another bottle was opened, and after some awkward drunken foreplay Naran and Ms. Berrykins initiated their brief yet bitter affair. Their safe word was “Auntie Mabel.”

Although Naran never forgave Ms. Berrykins for leaving her two weeks later (for a young Italian carpenter named “Giorggio,” no less), she henceforth gained a respect for the strong feelings a person can have towards a member of the same gender.

Giorggio and Ms. Berrykins moved to Naples (the original one, in Italy), where they married, had three children and lived happily ever after until Giorggio became entangled in the feared Carpenter’s Mafia, which killed him after he accrued large debts on purchases of hardwood, 4 inch nails, and drywall.

*Once upon a time, when this website was young, fresh, and idealistic, I thought Naran was a pretty decent moderator. She seemed reserved and fair. But for whatever reason this has dramatically changed. She now spends nearly every waking hour policing every opinion presented on the site, metaphorically humping the Governor’s leg but only because she can’t get an appointment to hump it in person. Any opinion critical of anything the Governor does or supports is attacked vehemently. And, when there is a lull in the activity on AMG, she hits the Portland Press Herald and comments up to 60 times each day.

So I apologize. I was wrong. May whatever God you believe in forgive me. – AMGLOLZ on April 15, 2011.

316 comments to “Naran”

  1. John Chapman says:

    So can we now find out his identity? Do the site rights pass under his will? Do I ALWAYS have to think like a lawyer?

  2. Tim Wright says:

    Only after we find out the identity of Apollo and Vikingstar, John.

    PS I think you meant to say “Do I ALWAYS have to think like a prick?”

    Love ya.

  3. Average Joe says:

    OK, what am I missing? I don’t look at AMG much these days as it has become really boring and I get more excitement from watching Loren LePage’s little beard grow.

    Has Naran moved on? To where? Who’s in charge now? A new Atilla the Nun?

  4. luckyme says:

    Chris Coose, sorry to hear it. Thanks for letting us know.

  5. Bob says:

    Sorry to hear about Chris Coose.

    The gossip over at the BDN comment section is that Emmaline Greensward is in actuality Naran. Any thoughts from anyone?

  6. anon says:

    I’ve read on AMG that she was banned from posting on the BDN forums, and that she gets a kick out of people guessing which one of the trolls she is there.

  7. Joe Mama says:

    ?

  8. chris coose says:

    Heck, I know nothing of the site creator. Just thought I might lure him out. Seems he’s given up. Too bad. AMG is flaming out just as governor vaseline has lit himself on fire.
    Maine republicans have completly f**ked themselves. There is nothing left except I get this picture of Naran all pom-pommed out, which makes me smile a bit.

  9. Average Joe says:

    OK, I think I get it now. The Narantula is still in charge at AMG but has to fly under a false flag at BDN, kind of like she berates people for doing on AMG.

    In the meantime, Chris Coose is trying to lure amglolz out of retirement using the time-tested “Paul is Dead” technique.

    Sometimes a little vaseline is needed to get this rusty old brain cranking.

    And hasn’t the Governor learned that K-Y Jelly is so much better?

  10. Tim Wright says:

    I think the last time Paulie LeRage tried to use the Little Governor, K-Y hadn’t been invented yet.

  11. pb says:

    How about this gem from “Kennebunk News”…..Pot/Kettle….Naran? propor Décor at all levels of government (including the gov should be called for

    Thumbs up, thumbs down
    July 18, 2013 2:00 AM
    ….snip

    Thumbs down to Kennebunk Board of Selectman Chairman Al Searles for cursing at Budget Board member John Costin at the June 25 selectman meeting. Costin and Searles have often clashed in the past, and frequently disagree on town policies, but by stooping to name-calling and cursing, Searles took the argument to a whole new (low) level.

    York County Coast Star

    ****************

    Maybe by the time the August selectmens’ meeting rolls around, Searles will have figured out he needs to offer Costin an apology. In Costin’s case, I don’t think the charges of supposed “sarcasm” and “condescension” were warranted.

    The selectmen don’t have to like what a resident has to say, but their job is to politely listen, and to hear what the residents have to tell them. If any of them feel unable, perhaps it’s time for that individual to find another way to serve their community, and let someone else have the job.

  12. Average Joe says:

    I can’t believe she’s still at it! This from the “Obama hates white people” thread:

    “As a journalist, I find these actions from the legislators and Maine’s Yellow Press nauseating beyond belief.”

    Well, as a cosmic superhero, I find Naran to be believably nauseating.

  13. Ruben says:

    I LOVE when she calls herself “a journalist.” It always makes me smile.

  14. chris coose says:

    Crickets over on the Obama hates white people thread since the governor cast a gigantic fart over the state early Friday evening.
    Is it possible any of the apologists would load up some personal principles and remove themselves from the stink?

    I doubt it.

  15. Joe Mama says:

    I think that everyone who is not a GOP rumpswab has left the building already.

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