This guy ran for Congress. I’m not kidding. His name is John Frary. If you asked him why he lost his election, I imagine he would tell you that he is too honest to be a Congressman. If you asked me, I’d say that Mainers probably don’t like voting for someone with such disdain for their State and such low estimation of the citizenry’s intelligence that he would run for office as a joke. That is not hyperbole; Mr. Frary truly ran for office not to win, but as a joke.
Usually joke candidates don’t run with the endorsement of a major party, but Maine Republicans added a pro-embarrasment plank to their platform in 2008. It is the only part of their platform they have actually been able to execute in this state over the last ten years.
One of Mr. Frary’s toughest interviews of his campaign is posted here. And here you can see Mr. Frary playing a full room of his elderly cantankerous base. Example policy suggestion: Put all the “perfect people” on an island with some guns and let them off each other. Nice.
And here you can watch him talk to the State Republican Convention in 2008. I am insulted to my inner core by his theft of Monty Python’s material for his shitty campaign.
Despite losing the election, Mr. Frary remains active in Maine politics. He recently participated in a gay marriage debate in Farmington, which is available on youtube. In this youtube clip the moderator of the debate reads each parties’ qualifications. Mr. Frary’s included drinking beer.
If you can endure a little bit of punishment, I encourage you to watch the whole debate. Mr. Frary is the epitome of the eccentric, cranky grandpa. He even drops the f-bomb at one point. Pissing on the debate is funny, I guess. It not like real consequences are at stake. I remember reading how Frederick Douglass frequently turned public opinion in his favor through generous use of the F-bomb.
But back to As Maine Goes. There, Mr. Frary is immediately recognizable from his style of prose. It is the opposite of Hemingway. Mr. Frary likes to take his reader’s attention and drown it in the bathtub of needlessly lengthy words. He then tries to resuscitate interest with swarmy self-aggrandizement before finally ending all doubt of his nuttiness with plain, simple bullshit. And when he is done, he goes for a smoke.