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Thread of the Month: Civil War

Breaking news:  America is headed for civil war!

Okay, okay, technically this AMG thread is titled “Civil War ?”  But as all Fox News viewers know, a question mark never really means the preceding words are in doubt (See John Stewart’s wonderful piece on modern use of the question mark).

The thread started off as a light-hearted, half-joking open consideration of the possibilities of a civil war in America’s near future. On post #12, however, Michelle “I’m so nuts they made me a moderator” Anderson lays out the paranoid truth:

I guess you can laugh about it all you want, but the fact is, people are talking about it. And those same people are fast approaching a currently unknown breaking point. Those two things all by themselves are not good.

Mr. Obama would have to be a total idiot if he did not notice that civil unrest is imminent….

Yes, civil unrest is imminent and only total idiots do not notice it.  Luckily, some of the partial idiots may still be swayed.  See PHPaul in post #18:

Holy ****.

When I started this thread I was looking for confirmation of my suspicion that the whole thing was just another case of an InnerWeb Crackpots Unanimous meeting.

Now I see serious, educated people who give every indication of being level-headed, thoughtful and well grounded in reality saying it’s not only distinctly possible, it may even be inevitable.

Aside to PHPaul: If someone tells you that the U.S. is near civil war, they just gave you an indication that they are not level-headed, thoughtful, and well grounded in reality.

Continuing the serious discourse, user Roger Ek posted a link to a right-wing terrorist fan fiction piece called “The Battle of Jakes,” which describes an armed revolution in America.  Spoiler alert:  Hillary Clinton gets hanged at the end.  Sample prose: “Johnny and Simon Cory didn’t know it, but they were lone wolves, but part of an army oflone wolves that now were fulfilling the unwritten strategy of leaderless resistance.”  Roger Ek didn’t know it, but he was a douche, but part of an army of douches that like this bullshit.

In post #61, Bob Stone emphasizes caution because the revolution will not be in 2010.  It will be in 2012. Duh.  In the next sentence he notes that the later, post-revolution civil war will be between Latinos and Muslims.  Double duh.

Post 205:  Michelle Anderson hypothesizes that states may eventually choose to leave the union, or kick others out of the union, because of unfair Federal taxation brought about by the health care bill.  Specifically she argues that California and Nebraska are a “drag” on the others.  Fact check:  California is a net exporter of Federal tax money to other states. In other words, if the Tea Partiers managed to kick California out of the Union, their taxes would go up.   Sarah Palins’ Alaska, however, is a net drag.  I say Alaska goes first, but only if we get to take away Ms. Palin’s visa to visit the lower 48.

So, liberals, have fun going to your New Year’s Eve party tonight.  It may be the last you ever have in the United States of America.  I read it on the internet.