Posts archived in Not AMG

The Portland Press Herald has apologized for running a front age story about the end of Ramadan on September 11th. Apparently September 11th commemorations are the only acceptable front page stories on that date from here to eternity. Nevermind that it is hard to cover the events of the September 11th remembrance ceremonies in the September 11 edition of the daily paper because those events haven’t happened yet.

Count me among those believing that no apology is necessary. One can remember 9/11 AND let newspapers report what happened the day before. Especially in a local paper, as there is frankly no lack of 9/11 remembrance coverage from the national outlets.

Those complaining are enforcing a particular political correctness and would not have complained about a story of a non-Muslim gathering. Futhermore, it is obvious to everyone that Portland Press Herald is apologizing mainly due to business considerations, which will not satisfy its critics nor improve it’s image among those hoping for actual journalism.

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Traffic Report

As someone who travels I-295 regularly, I am concerned about the construction near exits five and nine. Specifically, the DOT or whoever it is that controls such things decided to close the middle lanes and let drivers know by putting tall, thin, white poles up in between the lanes for several hundred feet leading up to the actual lane closure.

They are difficult to see if you don’t know they are there. The first time I saw them, I reacted with a little swerve towards the shoulder. Nearly knocked the Obama sticker off the back of my pink, vegetable oil powered, modified Prius.

These poles should be orange, or have orange flags at the top, or in some other way be more orangey. White vertical lines are difficult to see at 65 mph. Drivers are looking for orange.

There should be signs warning specifically about the oncoming poles.

There should be a solid white line dividing the lanes for several hundred feet leading up to the tall white poles to discourage people from changing lanes.

As it is, the first few poles have been knocked out of their footings. Obviously someone chose to change lanes at the wrong time and ran into them. There is substantial risk that, eventually, someone will unexpectedly hit a pole and overreact, causing an accident.

This post is about an AMGer named JIMV.

JIMV is a lemming, or maybe a computer program, that only does one thing: express belief in everything Sean Hannity tells him. Every single word. If a Republican did it, only Jesus could have done it better (and that’s only on one of Jesus’ good days).

Luckily for all of us, the economy of Maine was so repressive that JIMV decided to up and leave for greener pastures. Err, browner pastures. Specifically, Idaho.

He now makes his living, doing whatever it is JIMV does, in Boise. I have trouble believing that JIMV can actually hold a job because I wouldn’t trust his judgment to do much more than flip burgers. I have trouble imagining any possible employer could feel any different after about ten minutes with the guy. But maybe in Idaho they have different standards than they do here.

I bring this up now because the miracle of Google helped me discover that JIMV’s online wisdom is not restricted to As Maine Goes. He also posts on a message board in Idaho. Over there he brings up excellent, well-thought-through Hannity talking points like this bit on the stimulus:

I am letting you get away with lowballing the stimulous to the official $700 billion (when the real cost was $840 Billion)…

Now divide the cost by the pretend jobs and what do you get?

Folk with better math than I note the cost per claimed job comes in just under $200K….

So, say $190K per job….pretty pricey to hire a half million or so temp census workers or to keep overpaid government union members or rich ‘educators’ employed on the dime of the actual poor and middle class.

Another math test….what if BoBo had simply taken the $840 billion and cut a $50K check per person, he could have written over 16 million checks to folk…imagine getting a $50K check in the mail!

That “reasoning” might sound convincing for about two seconds. Sort of like how it might seem like a good idea to drive to Idaho and punch JIMV in the face for about two seconds. But then you think about all the negatives. I mean, that is a lot of time and money invested for very little outcome. Idaho’s pretty far away. If he moves to Ohio, I might reconsider.

So $190K per job sounds really bad, I guess, if you accept that dividing the total cost of an organization by the number of people working for it equals the “cost” per job. Of course, it doesn’t make any sense, and this is why JIMV would never succeed in the business world.

Can you imagine him as CEO? I have this theory that all Republicans think they’d make great CEOs because unlike the rest of the population, they believe they know how to make the “tough” decisions. Here’s how I picture JIMV in the role:

JIMV: Hi, CFO. I just figured out that each of our employees cost us $190K each! We need to bring those costs down!

The unlucky CFO (who just can’t believe JIMV is the more successful of the two): Whoa, Jim. Slow down. We pay our employees an average of 45K per year.

JIMV: No. We have total revenues of 190,000,000, and we have 1,000 employees, so obviously each employee costs us 190K! We need to fire some of them or something. Maybe they will each agree to a 70% pay cut?

The CFO: Jim, that makes no sense. We do more than pay our employees. We buy supplies. We have overhead. We need it to create products that people want. Our employees don’t get all that.

JIMV: Dammit, man, I’m sick of your Democrat math. You’re fired! Look, I just saved us $190K!

Memo to JIMV: The stimulus actually BUILT THINGS. It wasn’t just “190K per job.” Each 190K got us a job AND a few miles of rejuvenated highway, a school that didn’t close, a few people getting unemployment benefits so they could feed their kids, and (gasp!) some tax cuts!

Think about it, dude, in between burger flips.

JIMV: A Republican’s Republican. A man devoid of any independent thought.

Ted Olsen, principled conservative, does his best Dan Billings impression and nails the legal argument on gay marriage. I’m not saying Dan Billings supports gay marriage, but if he did, even he could argue it only slightly better than Ted Olsen.

Yea, I’m a registered Democrat. You’re surprised, I know. But I’ve got a confession to make.

I don’t give a rat’s ass about the Democratic primary.

I guess if I go vote I’ll fill in the circle for Rowe. He seems like he’s been a responsible Attorney General. The worst I’ve heard people say about him is that he’s boring. I’m down with a boring Governor. If I want excitement I’ll watch VH1 or maybe some YouTube videos of cats falling off things. And if one of the other Democrats wins the primary, it doesn’t matter to me. I think they’d all do a great job.

The primary that really matters is the Republican primary. I’m not a political insider or a pollster, but I’ve just got a sense that this is where the Republicans can lose it.

Steve Abbott is the common sense candidate. He’s got all the connections without the baggage of ever having voted on anything before. He can raise gobs of money and support from the same people that elect Susan Collins time and again. She wins, right? I don’t like Republicans that win. So I’m hoping Abbott goes down in a tea party ball of flame.

All the other Republican candidates have some serious flaws. They’re going to max out at forty percent or so, I feel. This is why all the rational AMGers are in the Abbott camp. They know he is their last best hope for avoiding another four years of irrelevance. The other side gets the Roger Eks and the Mark Tureks, which says a lot.

I’d also be a little worried about Mills in the general, but there is little chance of him making it out of a Republican primary, much less a Republican primary with one other well funded non-crazy candidate splitting the non-crazy vote. In fact, I think the Mills / Abbott matchup is the only thing that might save the crazies. Could Paul LePage sneak in with a 30% “victory?” Damn straight he could.

And so I’m really rooting for LePage. Putting aside all policy views for a minute, let me say that he has ran a godawful campaign. Embarrassing. It’s been great for bloggers, sure, but bad for people named LePage who hope to be Governor someday. If he manages his operation in the general election only twice as well he’ll seal the win for the D column.

And look, I’m not saying he isn’t a swell guy who overcame a lot of hardship to be very successful. That’s impressive. But does that erase the obvious shittyness of his campaign up until now? Nope.

So come on, AMGers. I’m counting on you to come through on this. Don’t let me down.

In this AMG thread we see the Portland Press Herald’s new offices, complete with massive flatscreen televisions.

Where else do we normally see clusters of large flatscreen televisions like that? Nursing homes. Which is where society sends its respected yet expensive-to-care-for elders to peacefully await their inevitable demise.

Fitting?

If they added a few Wii consoles it might improve resident fitness.

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Just a Prediction

This is non-AMG. I’ve been thinking for a while that Hillary would make a great VP. It would fit with her preparing to run in 2016, and would help Obama consolidate his base and women voters. I think she would have been the VP nominee if not for the contested primary creating some political difficulties. I am predicting here and now that Clinton will be the VP nominee in 2012 running with Obama.

Write that down.

This isn’t an AMG story, but I like it nonetheless. Byron Watson, a Republican chairman of the Brunswick School Board, was removed from the chairman’s position after he wrote an e-mail to State Representative Hannah Pingree that began:

“Let me start off by stating you are the most gorgeous member of the Legislature,” Watson wrote. “I am not writing to hit on you though …”

After being removed, Mr. Watson wrote to the local newspaper to inform them that his removal as chair of the school board was a matter of constitutional principle. He said:

“They showed a gross lack of leadership ability and what they did to me and my family … violat(es) the principles of the 8th amendment about cruel and unusual punishments. I hope that none of them and none of their children ever have to go through a similar attack in the future.”

‘Tis true. There are few punishments more cruel than not being chairman of the school board in Brunswick, Maine. All of us in Maine that, like poor Mr. Watson, are not chairmen of our local school board feel Mr. Watson’s pain each and every day we wake up and look ourselves in the mirror.

To be fair to Mr. Watson, I think he was treated unfairly. It was never made generally known that Mr. Watson’s remarks to Ms. Pingree were not sexist because he starts his emails to everyone that way. For instance, I have it from good sources that when Mr. Watson e-mailed Rich Cebra (R-Naples, Not Italy) he began:

“Let me start off by stating you are the fattest member of the Legislature.”

And when he e-mailed Representative Henry Joy (R-Nutsville), he said:

“Let me start off by stating you are the least sane member of the Legislature.”

Don’t take this sitting down, Mr. School Board dude. Rise up and fight your oppressors! But please, don’t hit on them…