I want to take a moment and speak seriously. Yes, getting on a soapbox can turn people off- but I’m paying my $5 per month for this soapbox so I can use it when I want. If you think this is too long, then all I can say is don’t read it.
I want to talk about how we perceive gays and lesbians in our society and on AMG.
First, for the record, let me say that I am not gay but I am married. I wish homosexuals across Maine could have that same blessing.
Ten years ago, a vote to legalize gay marriage would never have passed the legislature. A people’s veto would have repealed any gay marriage law with only the most hardcore liberal voting against. The issue was going nowhere. But in 2009, Maine showed how close we are to real equality. No on 1 lost by less than 6%. It is utterly disappointing for supporters, but 6% is only 6%. In terms of actual voters, we now only need to change the minds of a few dozen thousand people. That isn’t much. And let’s face it: no one that voted for gay marriage is going to vote against it next time. There is no attrition in the other direction. Every mind that comes over to equality is here to stay.
Polls support optimism. Here is a combined view of nationwide polls over the last fifteen years:
A 6% increase in support for gay marriage is only 3-6 years away if support in Maine increases at somewhat the same rate as shown above.
Similar trends can be observed outside of the marriage issue. Observe the change in American opinion on whether homosexuals should be allowed to openly serve in the military:
There is but one reason for this dramatic change in voter acceptance towards homosexuals over the last 40 years: the choice of many homosexuals to come out of the closet. Most people that really know a gay or lesbian person begin to understand pretty quickly that there is nothing of which to be afraid. They are friends. They work at regular jobs, just like you. They pay bills, just like you. They raise children. They work at the same jobs, eat at the same tables, and watch the same movies that you do. It may seem simply obvious to many people now, but for years it was not: homosexuals are regular people.
This is still not obvious to everyone. In particular, it is not obvious to hard-core social conservatives like we find on AMG. Look at my interaction the other week with Tom C and check out the thread on which it is based.
Tom is gloating on AMG because he sure taught the liberals a lesson:
Oh, gosh, Cuz, we just mopped the floors with the liberals.
It doesn’t seem sporting.
Hey, liberals, next time we have a “battle of wits” I’ll make it a fair fight and only use half of mine.
lol.
He seems to think that he wins the argument when the other side stops talking. Despite the stunning blow his wits inflicted upon liberals from Kittery to New Canada, his comments leading up to that point illustrate one reason why same-sex marriage will continue to gain traction with voters: those opposing same-sex marriage, when they’re not careful, do so tactlessly and without respect for the human beings they are discussing and, collaterally, the voters that know them.
What does a person think when told that homosexuality is but a hop, skip and a jump away from pedophilia, but their gay friend or co-worker shows no signs of such evil? What is the friend of a gay man to think when an anonymous person on the internet, a person that has never met the gay friend, accuses homosexual persons of general sympathy towards monsters that assault children? These words make an impression that will never be forgotten. They may score points with anyone already convinced that gays are somehow different, but they drive away those outside that narrow bubble.
Even worse is the barely guarded hatred expressed by AMG user Apollo when he attempts to counter Charlotte’s statement that sexual abuse of young children is, shockingly, not supported by the gay community. Apollo answered with the snide remark:
Then why was NAMBLA founded by gay men?
It is a despicable thing to say. A sexual orientation didn’t found NAMBLA- specific people did. Impugning Mainers who had absolutely zero to do with NAMBLA, and are as disgusted by it as any other Mainer, is tripe. Most Mainers recognize that.
Apollo, whoever he is, would probably not walk up to a gay person at work, or in the mall, or at a school and say, “Hey you! You probably love NAMBLA, don’t you?” Not because Apollo doesn’t think he is right to make such a comment, but because he probably has some sense of shame. It is much harder to tell a person you think they are a monster to their face. To someone like me, the thought that the homosexual persons I spend time with are guilty, by association, of being in cahoots with NAMBLA is a sick, twisted joke. Apollo, by making such asinine suggestions, has lost all credibility with me. It can never be regained. No words he says or types in the future will ever penetrate the wall of disgust he has created between him and me. Undoubtedly this experience is not unique to myself.
Tom C and Apollo think they “won” somehow, but I feel there are hundreds of readers of AMG that feel the same sinking feeling in their gut that I do when reading that particular thread. They recognize the tactic: dehumanization. Those gays, you can’t trust them with your children. You can’t trust them in society. They are not individuals, but part of a different group; a group that wants to do bad things. If you meet one, he or she is not quite as deserving of the same benefit of the doubt as your other neighbors. Be wary. Did you know they started NAMBLA?
That tactic of fear has some short term gain but slowly and surely it pushes the young and undecided away. Marriage equality is absolutely, unequivocally just a matter of time. And the more certain AMG types spread their laughing, indolent accusations towards people with whom they have never cross paths, the more they drive away the sympathies of those that separate rhetoric from reality.
