I’m siding with Naran on this one.

AMGer Dale Tudor (distantly related to the old monarchy) cannot believe that the ACLU is threatening to sue an Alabama town for this genius crime-fighting program they’ve got down there.

What’s the plan? Alternative sentencing. You can either accept jail time or accept a certain time period of attending church every Sunday.

This idea is so obviously stupid I can’t believe it would become law, even in Alabama, but apparently the people of Alabama decided that they just weren’t going to hold back any longer. They are going for the full idiotic triple-lutz with an unconstitutional landing, and they stuck it.

Dale Tudor loves the idea. Can’t see any problem. Thinks it should happen here, too. Someone should break it softly to him that Maine is one of the least religious states in the country. This might be related to why we have low rates of teen pregnancy and divorce, but I digress.

So, fortunately, this plan would have zero chance of passing in Maine. But back in Alabama, Naran picked up on some possible issues: she says, well, I’d expect Pagan and Wiccan church attendance to skyrocket. I guess she is insinuating that these religions are more open to criminals, or easier to do, or something. Not sure I agree with her there. But the general point is valid- people are going to choose the “easiest” church and just show up. Personally, I’d go Catholic. It is easy to sleep in the back row with all the droning going on. Evangelical churches have all the loud music and exciting singing. I say to heck with that, I’d rather take a nap.

Dale retorts that there are 47 “approved” churches participating in the plan, so he doesn’t think people can get away with this. You can only go to approved churches? Wow, that just increased the unconstitutionality from 100% to… 100%.

Naran responds that people have a right to not be coerced into a religion, being that we live in the ‘ole US of A. Dale doesn’t see it that way:

Perhaps you missed the part about the convicted having a choice? That’s not a bribe, nor is it coercion. And, as an aside, nothing would be gained if the court were to allow the convicted to go to an organization that espoused the same liberal values that most likely contributed them being brought before the court in the first place.

(slaps forehead) You can’t make this up! Being told that you can go to JAIL… or CHURCH… is not at all coercive in favor of religion.

Oh, and for the crazy cherry on top Dale lets it be known that coercing people to go to a liberal church would be dumb because criminals are all liberals anyways, and if they are not then sending them to a liberal church would just make them so. For crying out loud…

If Backwaterville, Alabama insists on sticking with their program, I’m tempted to go to that town and start a mosque, apply for “approval” to the program and watch the fireworks.